Delulu

is the solulu

I’ve been off Prozac and only on Wellbutrin for 51 days. I’m still flopping, but I have a solution. Every single solution over and over. The second I think of it.

Prob: I h*te my bod for expanding from my entire year of pretending I’m not allergic to dairy and corn. I am Inflammation City, and I know how it happened.

Solution! I remind myself that I’m very cute. Actually stunning. Beyond beautiful etc. I am detoxing literal body poison. It allegedly takes 8 weeks to see a difference when you make a body/food change. I stopped the dairy corn fest two weeks ago, so another 6 weeks before I can fairly assess. I didn’t order a cheese plate on my flight last night! A success! I bought new clothes and quickly returned the rejects instead of getting mad about arbitrary sizing. I’ve been doing a shit ton of mindful makeup because the least I can do is a proper face beat.

Prob: My dad droned on about our daily dry cleaning software related shitstorm the whole 45 min car ride while. I softly cried but was able to conceal any tears before they fell.

Solution! I put an airpod in my hidden ear (the right one) and let an array of youtubers discretely tell me how intelligent and wonderful and beautiful I am. It also helped me not listen to my dad. Perfect!

Prob: In this exact moment I’m on minute 33 on Paychex hold and my dad is sitting to my left. Just sitting. Not even on his phone. Ok good- he just got up to patrol downstairs of his dry cleaning kingdom.

Solution: And I’ll be honest. Especially because I’d love to get fired. I absolutely high on marijuana at this vey moment. It’s helped! Weed on Prozac is only anxious and weed on not Prozac takes the highly sensitive edge off. Because everything is dumb and great and bad and amazing. Always. It’s nbd. The second it’s a bd you want to d i e.

Prob: seasonal affective disorder girlie!!!

Solution: SAD light from Amazon to the face.

Prob: Brain being lame as fuck majorly negative. Very uncool thoughts.

Solution: Remembering how BORING it is to be insecure. You don’t want to be BORING, and neither do I. I have therapy and psychologist appointments coming up. I’ll make my brain chemistry their problem, and dissociate before then.

Still on hold. Now my dad is on phone Facebook showing me ads of what he wants me to buy for him. I sent this to myself from his phone because he doesn’t know how to.

He’s now watching videos with the audio on.

And I’ve finished whatever the fuck this post has been at minute 54:04 of hold.

someone just answered and sent me to another Paychex employee so gtg do my job.

Xoxo,

You’re hot just lie to yourself until you believe it okay?

Ariana