Lol remember when I thought I was going to do a daily 25 min Pomodoro ‘stack, and now it’s a week later?
God I’m so cute.
I’ve been v into witchiness. I went to an irl tarot class with my gal LaRai. I learned more in an hour than I had in YEARS of trying to memorize 78 cards and their reverse meanings.
8 ladies sat on bad metal chairs around a woman named Deanna (?) and her greyhound dog Duck (who sat on the only metal chair with cushion). He was going through a hard time with the loss of his dog friend/family member, so we were all v understanding. I knew too much about greyhounds, because at one point my ex wanted a retired greyhound racing dog (I thought it was a bad idea to get a dog that looks like a magnified version of him) (I said nothing).
Deanna covered all the tarot’s Aces. Ace faces? Ace family. The Aces. She laid each card out, and one by one. We said what we thought it meant via the symbolism on each card. One classmate kept asking about outfit details of each card. I was like they/them have such bigger themes than hat color, like, how about hat fanciness? Why are you dissecting shoe tone? Is the horse in the illustration FROWNING at the SAD man on him while reluctantly stepping toward A STORM? God she annoyed me. And it wasn’t because she had leg hair. If you’re talking more than me in a class setting, you need to check yourself. I have that shit down to a considerate-yet-participatory science.
LaRai brought the most insane tarot deck I had ever seen. Like, her 3 of Cups card was a glossy black card, with three half, multi-colored cups on them. I was like, “hey, that is for sure the least spiritually sound deck I have ever seen.” Like, for sure from an Instagram ad. I made her buy a normal all Rider Waite deck while we were still in the building.
It was really so funny and interesting to make an adult friend, and then get to see them in a teacher-student setting. Like, LaRai didn’t even bring a pen or a notebook. I would have had an anxiety attack in the room.
Speaking of anxiety, I did stand up on Saturday and had a great time. That’s a v big deal bc I was getting ready like, “hey dumb bitch, why the fuck are you about to spend $60 on Ubers, to get your one wine stipend, pay for the next two wines, to beg people to understand you?” I was truly so ready to stop, again, but sorry, no. It went well. The footage doesn’t really fully translate how well it went, and, I don’t feel like exposing myself to the web like that rn. Maybe later.
And I don’t have to! Isn’t that cute????
I’m sitting next to a huge ass stuffed sloth Rob WON ME. We went to an amusement park for a friend’s concert. Before the show, the BOYS went on scary rides and the GIRLS (friend and her baby girl) walked around, and went ~backstage~. I was waiting on Rob when, like my very own hunter, he arrived with a teen sized sloth lazybones.
Rob proudly retold the story of shooting nothing but net at the basketball hoops. The attendant/prize guard said, “ok you win, and you can’t win again.” Rob asked to toss the rest of the balls for funsies. Homeboy got two more baskets it. A star!!! We love that for us!
I do, however, believe we will proudly (and believe me, no man has ever WON ME A PRIZE BEFORE!!!) keep and display this giant sloth laggard, until we are both dead. Which could be years.
Omg it’s April Fool’s Day! Did you know, I don’t like to lie? Goes against everything in my bones. I inherently feel like this is a dishonest tradition (unless if I ever think of something cool and clever). And every year some famous woman says she’s pregnant, admits it was a joke, and then spends the next day drafting an apologizing to the miscarriage comments.
Last week’s post, “wasn’t my favorite,” according to Rob. He said it was, “all over the place.” I am, once again, no longer asking questions I don’t want the answers to. How freeing!
I did a fun and not really fleshed (flushed?)
not really fleshed out joke about how it’s a relief to be allowed to be a shittier person in Florida. I did a, “you people don’t even recycle” thing the audience of now-fellow monsters seemed to fuck with.
I also opened about how I used to think it was very very cool to be from LA, until I left LA, because, “damn, you Florida people really hate that about me.”
Now I’m going to read The Women in the bath.
xoxo,
Ariana